I’m feeling shamed – food shamed, that is.
It just dawned on me after visiting a diner for breakfast the other day, that I must have three heads -yes three, because I am being judged by what I order. But it may be the opposite of what you think. I’m not the one who is overindulging; I am the weirdo who is under indulging. I’m that person who is trying desperately to honor my body by eating healthy food, even when I go out to eat. I know I’m not making the popular choices; I’m rocking the proverbial boat. I know I am painful to deal with, but should I feel that way? Should the over indulgers feel like they’re being scrutinized as well? And so it goes; judgment abounds. Even the chickens don’t know what to make of it.
Here’s how it went down at the diner. I ordered an egg sandwich: two poached eggs with non-buttered multi-grain toast, spinach, and ham. Hilariously, the older gentleman taking my order was like, “How are you going to put poached eggs in a sandwich?” He was literally dumbfounded. I explained that I wanted them poached hard, to which he replied, “Well done?” “Yes, well done,” I answered, which was funny as well. Tomato, toematoe, I guess. But the look of disdain he gave me, well it sealed the “shame deal” for me, as if he was thinking, “Are you kidding me. You’re going out to eat and you want to eat that?”
I laughed at the time, but a few days later, I started thinking about the heat I’ve taken for decades because I’ve tried to make healthy food choices, and guess what, it suddenly dawned on me why people would have an issue. Anyone who looks down on me is really saying, “You’re making me feel bad, guilty, and like I’m doing something wrong, because you are not doing what most people are doing. You’re not doing what I’m doing, and I want to do what I’m doing without feeling shame.” Okay, I get it, but how ’bout my side. I’m not judging you. I’m not telling you to make better choices. I’m just living my life like you are, so hey, cool it, and let me be. If my choices appear crazy to you, just let me be crazy in my choices. Please don’t shame me just to make yourself feel better, and I will not shame you either. I’m holding myself as responsible as I’m holding you. Let’s just agree to disagree at this point.
So, my food choices may not be popular but let me explain. Yes, I guess I am the crazy one who says no thanks to buttered toast, no to waffles and pancakes, no to chicken wings. No thanks to full-fledged ice cream, fatty meats, hollandaise sauce. No thanks to French fries, cookies, and cake. I know what you’re thinking – you’re thinking I’m not living my life, but I am. And just to be clear, as the years have gone by, I do allow certain indulgent foods to sneak in here and there, but for the most part, I’m still really conscious of what’s going into my body. It makes a huge difference as well, whether I cook or bake something myself, because I trust me way more than I trust a restaurant to not slather things in butter or worse yet, use some type of fake oil that will wreak havoc with my insides. (It’s a thing, really).
I guess I’m just a troublemaker – I upset the apple cart so to speak. When you’re the one to make a stand about eating healthy, you are not appreciated by those who prepare the food, including family. I’m positive I have pissed off plenty of people by saying no to certain foods, but isn’t that my prerogative? When I’ve been served donuts for breakfast and deli meat with white bread for lunch, I admit that I have gone hungry at times, but shouldn’t I be able to eat what I want and say no to things I don’t want, after all, I’m the one who has to live with me.
So, at this point in my life, I say, so what! While I’m cutting all the fat off my steak, you might be turning your nose up to salmon. See were not so different after all. I say stick to your guns, whatever guns those may be. Let’s stop the food shaming all the way around, shall we. Let’s eat what makes us happy, and let’s be satisfied with that. Life is too short to be so judgy, whether we’re talking about food or other life issues. Let’s play nice kids!
Pretty Mama Cares 